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GTGMT Relationship 3 – New Relationship? 5 Tips to Reduce the Stress

February 8, 2014 Leave a comment

Black Love

New relationships usually spark excitement because they provide a brand new angle on life for you to take advantage of.

Your natural curiosity as a human being makes you anxious to see just what this new relationship is all about. As thrilling as this may be, however, new relationships also invariably bring along new stresses.

Use these tips to reduce that stress:

1.   Remember to embrace the real you. Try not to alter your actions, behaviors or beliefs to fall in line with expectations of the other person. The pressure to please others can be great, especially if you want the relationship to work, but avoid compromising who you really are. Such compromises can cause a great deal of unnecessary stress.

  •  Be true to yourself. If that isn’t what the other person is looking for, move on.
  • Know that you’re fabulous just as you are and avoid allowing the other person’s opinion of you to force you to try to change.

2.   Be honest about your feelings. Your feelings are true to who you are, and you should always try to stand behind them. Being honest about your feelings is the best way to start a trend of being honest in a relationship. The more upfront you are about how you feel, the more respect you’ll get from the other person, and the less stressful you’ll feel.

  •  If you don’t like when something is done in a particular way, just say it. Both of you will either agree to disagree, or decide there’s no room for compromise or meeting halfway.
  • If the person’s actions make you happy, say it. That’s the best way to provide reassurance that things are going smoothly.

3.   Let things flow naturally. Try not to force the relationship into new stages before it is ready. Just enjoying getting to know each other and letting the relationship build at its own speed is the stress-free way to progress.

4.   Take the time to get to know the person. It’s important that as you spend time together, you make the effort to truly know the person you’re with. What are their likes and dislikes? What makes them happy or upset? What are their beliefs? How compatible are both of you, really?

  •  Simply wondering about these important matters can cause undue stress, so find out what your inquiring mind wants to know!

5.   Be optimistic. Going into a new relationship with a positive outlook, instead of telling yourself that it’s probably not going to work out, keeps you from stressing yourself out about the whole situation. Also, it enables you to focus on (and enjoy) what’s good about the relationship rather than agonizing over every detail.

Your ultimate objective is to build relationships with others that truly work. Of course, there will be times when things don’t go as you would like them to, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be corrected along the way.

The stress of a new relationship doesn’t have to be a burden. Instead, use these tips to reduce your new relationship stress and build a stronger bond as well.

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GTGMT 28 – Tell The Truth

January 29, 2014 1 comment

 

Have you ever come across the type of person that you felt you just couldn’t trust for some reason? You didn’t know exactly what it was, but he just wasn’t on the level. Or how about the type of person who always has a story, it’s just not a story you believe. Most of us have come across those types – they’re easy to spot because they’re obvious. The truth is, though, we all have some “masking” in us.

As we were growing up and forming our ideas about how to act safely in this world, we all began to wear masks in varying degrees. We say and do the socially acceptable things, and we defer to people in authority over us, no matter what our age. We’ve been doing it for so long and it’s so automatic, that many of us have no idea what we really think or feel. We do it because we don’t want to be rejected by others and because we’re not so sure about ourselves to begin with.

These masks keep us safe. They also imprison us. All of our “shoulds” and “have to’s” and “ought to’s” obscure who we really are. Some people are afraid of repercussions if they decide to be more authentically themselves. But authenticity is not a license to be boorish, and most people know that, so fear of repercussions is invalid. A few people may be threatened by your authenticity in and of itself, but more people will probably welcome it, and studies have shown that the more authentic you are, the more authentic people you attract.

The more people trust themselves and are comfortable with themselves, the more authentic they become in what they say and in their behavior. The more people give up their masks, the more they can explore and celebrate their real self. This releases all the energy that went into maintaining their masks so that it can be put into celebrating their lives.

Do a little investigating into what you think and feel. Is an authentic? Is it working well for you? Is it time to replace those old thoughts and feelings with more authentic ones, ones that represent who you really are. 

We are all changing and growing all the time. Choose the beliefs, feelings, and values that are real for you now. You will be freer, more alive, and happier.

 

GTGMT 25 – The Heart of Self-Improvement is Motivation

January 28, 2014 Leave a comment

Colorful Heart

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negatives the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A – Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B – Believe in your self, and in what you can do.

C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.

G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self-improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.

H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.

J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.

K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self-improvement.

L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?

M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.

O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.

S – Stop procrastinating.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self-control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self-improvement.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.

V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.

W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self-improvement.

X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life-like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.

Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!

GTGMT 20 – Minimizing Time Wasters

January 23, 2014 Leave a comment

Time Wasting Trash Can

As you make the effort to use positive time management during your workday, be sure that you reclaim time that is currently slipping out of your control. Regardless how productive you try to be, there are time wasters that need to be identified and managed to really get the most from every work hour.

What’s the most frustrating time waster?  Drop-in visitors and unscheduled phone calls. This isn’t usually the clients or your scheduled appointment meeting – seeing them is good for business or ministry. The big time waster is drop-in visits from other people in your office.

Make an informal log of the interruptions in your day. Be honest, how many of them are necessary and how many could wait until lunch break or after work?  There’s a fine line between friendly and sabotage.

Yes, drop-in visitors with trivial chatter are sabotaging your workday. Maybe they have less work than you do or they are simply looking for a way to avoid working. Either way, when you let them interrupt your workflow, you lose. You have to screen your drop-in visitors as carefully as you screen phone calls if you want to reclaim the time they steal from your day.

If you have a door, engage closed-door hours at least one hour in the morning and in the afternoon. To give this a positive spin, post a sign: This is my Power Hour: See you later and thanks for supporting my time management goals. You can leave this same message on your answering machine or voice mail.

What if you don’t have a door to close at work? You can create the same sign and tape it to the entry. If that still doesn’t work, leave the note on the entry and find a quiet place to manage your Power Hour uninterrupted.

Another way to limit time wasted with drop-in visitors and unscheduled phone calls is to make it clear immediately that you don’t have time to chat. As soon as the visitors show up or you answer a call, say emphatically, “Hello, Jane, I only have 5 minutes to spare so can you tell me what you came to say in less than 5 minutes.”

If she says no, then you say, “Ok, then we will have to set a time to talk. If she still insists on invading your time with “this won’t take long” (and you know it will), then be firm; “If I can’t get your agreement to limit our conversation to 5 minutes, then I don’t have time to even begin to talk now.”  Don’t worry about appearing rude. She’s rude for not respecting your time management plan.

Assignment:

Make a list of the Time Wasters you are willing to put a pause button on so that you can focus on the success of your business or ministry. What extra-curricular activities or business activities/functions can wait until you have learned to manage your time for success?

1)

 

2)

 

3)

 

4)

 

5)

 

6)

 

7)

 

8)

 

9)

 

10)

GTGMT #16 – Top 10 Emotions of Power Pt.2

January 17, 2014 4 comments

 

Emotions

Here are numbers 6-10 emotions of power.

6. Flexibility –This ability can be critical since unforeseen challenges can come along that can stop you dead in your tracks unless you are able to change. How well you can accept change, determine the correct course of action, and then take action will determine your success.

7.  Confidence – This sense of certainty that you are on the right path towards your chosen desired goals will go a long way to get you past the obstacles you’ll encounter.

Confidence will help you to be positive, even during the hard times. It might surprise you, but confidence is something you can practice. The way you do that is to remind yourself that you’re capable, you’ve been through similar things before and succeeded, and this is just another step along the way.

8. Cheerfulness – This trait might seem a little strange here, but there’s a good reason for it. Cheerfulness is not about being Pollyanna or hiding your head in the sand. You want to cultivate cheerfulness, or the feeling of liking yourself and the world around you, because it’s more effective than anything else to banish negative feelings like depression or fear or inadequacy from your life.

9. Vitality – If you don’t take care of your physical body, it’s more difficult to have positive emotions, and it’s more difficult to achieve your goals. Vitality includes eating right, exercising, getting the right amount of sleep for you, and proper breathing. Studies are showing that sitting at our desks all day is slowly killing us. We all need some movement. Cultivating a sense of vitality – your physical health –  is critical for peak performance.

10. Contribution – You’ve probably heard these popular expressions:” The secret to living is giving” or” Give before you get. “Do you know why? Here’s why. Giving to yourself and others lets you know that your life has mattered. It connects you with people and gives you a sense of pride and self-esteem that no amount of money or fame could ever give you. Money and fame are external, but giving is an internal thing that affects us much more deeply.

 

 
 

 

GTGMT #14 Emotions

January 15, 2014 3 comments

Managing Emotions

Many times people see emotions as things they have no control over or they look at emotions as things to avoid at all costs. Managing your  emotions is critical to being able to focus for your highest accomplishment. Emotions are nothing to be afraid of; they are something to be managed.

See if you recognize yourself as having one of the following patterns for dealing with your emotions:

1. AVOIDANCE – You are afraid of the intensity of your feelings so you do anything you can to avoid acknowledging them and dealing with them. There are a couple of problems with this approach. First, when you try to avoid negative emotions like fear or jealousy or anxiety, you also shut yourself off from feeling positive emotions like love, intimacy, and connection to other people. Second, you really can’t avoid feelings, so when you ignore them, they go underground and come out in more destructive ways.

2. COMPETITION – Some people try to outdo other people with the intensity of their bad emotions and experiences. They try to show others that they have it even worse. The problem with this is that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. A much better way to deal with your emotions is to recognize them, see if they have a purpose, and learn from them.

3. LEARNING and USING – You don’t really have a choice on this one if you want to live a productive life. You can’t run from your emotions, and you can’t give in and wallow in them. The only productive thing you can do is understand what your emotions are and why you’re feeling them. And you need to see them as a call to action – you are having these emotions because something needs to change. Once you understand that, you look at negative emotions as your friends since they are the things that will make you act to improve your life.

Choose to replace negative emotions with emotions of power and focus on these emotions everyday.  You will be on your way to experiencing your highest accomplishment.

GTGMT #9 – Powerful Vision and Mission Statements

January 11, 2014 1 comment

mission-statement-vs-vision-statement

Are you wanting to get crystal clear on your life’s purpose? The first place to start is your life’s mission statement. Think of your mission statement as a general statement encompassing your reason for existence-in other words, a broad statement of what you hope to accomplish. It does not include the distinctive ways that you intend to accomplish your purpose; that will be articulated in your vision statement.

Developing a mission statement for your life; as well as your business is important. When you take the time to think about your mission, identify where you are right now and where you want to go in the future. Understanding your mission will set you on the path to fulfillment in life and in business.

What is a Mission Statement?

A mission statement is a short description of what you want to accomplish. It can be as simple or complex as you like, but simple is best. Be razor-sharp with your focus to get the best results from your mission statement.

You can create a mission statement for your personal life, business, ministry or career. There may be times when your personal mission and business mission are intertwined. Your life’s mission will fuel or give you the necessary direction to make your business/ministry/career mission achievable. When the two missions are connected like that, it is relevant and adds value to not only your life, but to the people around you and the people you serve in business/ministry/career.

A great example of this would be a person who opens a non-profit organization. They have an authentic need to help others. This is their driving passion, and you can see it demonstrated throughout their life, not just in business. These are people you will see constantly serving, sacrificing for others and looking for ways to bless others. In their hearts they know the only way to fulfill their God-given desire to help people is to do it full-time. Their personal lives and business life mission connects.

As you start creating your mission statement consider what your vision for the future is. Think about what type of person you want to be in life. Consider the resources that God has given to you to help you achieve this vision.

Resources can be in the form of spiritual gifts, personality, natural abilities, interests, or experiences in life. Think about how these resources can help you define a clear vision for your life, both personally and professionally.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-6

Getting It Together Assignment: What vision for your life do you feel God has placed in your heart?

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