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Life Coaching Skills: 5 Tips for Being a Better Listener for Your Coaching Clients

October 29, 2020 Leave a comment
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If you’re a coach, you better be a good listener. You need to hear what your clients say; no daydreaming allowed. Yes, you need to have expertise to help them work through their problems or to improve their mindset, but you won’t know which advice to offer if you don’t listen carefully.

In today’s busy world, however, it’s very easy to get distracted, which doesn’t bode well when you’re trying to build trust with your clients. A distracted coach is one who doesn’t fully care about their clients and is only in this business to make money or to make a name for themselves.

Here are 5 ways you can become a better listener:

1. Keep eye contact. Meet in a Zoom meeting, webinar conference room or in a real physical location and focus on the person’s face because looking around aimlessly gives the impression that you’re not listening. If you’re taking notes while on a video call, tell them that so they don’t think you’re on your phone or dozing off when you look down.

2. Pretend that you’re going to repeat this conversation. This is a mind exercise because, obviously, your clients want their sessions kept confidential. However, thinking that you need to remember the most important parts of the conversation will help you stay focused. Use this as an aid for taking notes, too.

3. Turn off your phone and other electronic devices. Or put it on silent mode and keep it in your purse or in a drawer away from your desk. The only time it should come out during a session is when you’re scheduling a follow up session and you check your calendar.

4. Ask open-ended questions. Coaching sessions are meant to be two-way conversations so instead of focusing on taking notes, pay attention to details and ask related questions. Don’t try to be a mind reader and don’t make assumptions. Simply ask questions and allow your client to elaborate.

5. Summarize the session. At the end of the session offer a summary, either verbally or via email. Also include the next steps your client should take before your next session. If they say anything during the session that is unclear or confusing, offer a summary immediately by saying, “I hear you saying…” and add in your version of what they said. They can correct any misunderstanding right away while you show them that you’re paying attention to the little details.

Take an assessment of your listening skills today. Do you really listen to what your clients say? Do you have a firm grasp on what areas they need help? Have you ever tuned out while looking at your phone? Be honest with yourself.

If you’re doing all of these things, great! Your clients should feel good that you’re listening and actually hearing what they’re saying. If you admit that you’re not a great listener, there’s no time like the present to make that change and improve your trustworthiness.

Need More Listening Help?

On November 14th I will launching my New On Demand Online Course, “How to Create Your Own Personalized Client Service Experience Plan” I have a whole lesson dedicated to listening and how to hone your listening skills into an income-generating asset. The other three lessons include tips and action plans for developing your brand image and how to create brand loyalty, which of course, leads to longtime customers and loyal clients. To Join the waitlist with others to be the first to receive information on this course signup here http://eepurl.com/b1zmur.

Train Yourself to be More Self-Compassionate

October 22, 2020 5 comments

Have you ever met someone with so much compassion and wondered how you could be more like that? If so, you are not alone. Some people are born with the capacity of being compassionate not only to humans, but to pets, wildlife, and even nature. While compassion is a trait that is both biological and learned from our environment in childhood, there are ways to train yourself to be more compassionate if you wish.

Compassion is a Practice

If being compassionate is a way of being which is unfamiliar to you, it will take some practice. Just as any other new habit you wish to form, it will begin as unfamiliar until you make it more familiar. The brain is a creature of habit and gravitates to what is familiar – whether that is a positive trait or a negative habit.

Training your brain to be more compassionate is a practice like any new habit you wish to create. Compassion begins with self-compassion. Set an intention to be more self-compassionate and you will be amazed at how much your everyday, ordinary, life improves. Taking on self-compassion lightens the load, makes each day a little brighter, and softens the ups and downs of life.

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Here are some ways to practice self-compassion:

  • Talk back to that negative voice in your head; when you have a thought, which is negative about yourself, challenge it.
  • Counteract every negative thought with a positive one. For example, if you find yourself being hard on yourself, remind yourself how you have been through difficulties before and have come out simply fine.
  • Compliment yourself on a job well done and let go of guilt for feeling proud and accomplished.
  • Give yourself a break every now and again; you do not always have to aim for perfection. Doing your best is what counts.
  • Treat yourself to something nice; do something nice for yourself.
  • Speak to yourself and treat yourself like you would your best friend

Take the time to practice self-compassion. Once your cup is overflowing, you now have so much more to give. Self-compassion is not selfish, it is necessary so you can give back to others.

Three Powerful Habits of Highly Compassionate People

October 17, 2020 2 comments

What does success have to do with being a compassionate person? The answer is a lot. When you think of someone who is compassionate, do you associate it with someone who has a martyr/victim personality? Most associate compassionate people as soft or weak.

However, compassionate people have an amazing relationship quality – they know how to use compassion as a strength and not a weakness. Here are a few habits of highly compassionate people.

They do not Take Things Personally

People who emulate compassion both to themselves and for others, have learned the art of not taking things personally. They know when a mistake happens, that is simply a fact – a mistake happened. They do not focus on how much of a failure they are, how stupid they feel. They simply focus on the problem and do not internalize it as being about themselves. This allows them to take the next step.

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The Move Forward Quickly and Rebound

Since compassionate people practice self-compassion as well as compassion for others, they can move forward quickly. They do not make the problem, mistake, or situation about them.

There is less ruminating, worrying, and talking about problems. There is more of a focus on moving forward and coming up with creative solutions.

They Come up with Solutions to Problems

Rather than ruminating, compassionate people come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. Compassionate people can feel into what it is like for someone else to experience pain, almost as if they were the ones experiencing it. This offers them an amazing vantage point to problem solving.

A compassionate person can see and feel into others pain points. This offers them an advantage in helping others solve those problems. This one quality has many benefits:

  • In relationships, compassionate people can empathize with others and are better able to problem solve.
  • In business, compassionate people can feel their client’s pain points, communicate with empathy, and help them find creative solutions.
  • Socially, compassionate people invite others to be vulnerable due to their trustworthy and empathic qualities.
  • Compassionate people have a unique skill in being able to listen effectively to what people are saying and even what they are holding back on, as well.

Compassionate people have an uncanny sense about other people. This enables them to feel, see, and hear what others are experiencing. Compassion is an attractive quality. Compassionate people can draw near to them people who need their gifts, skills, and talents. This gives them an opportunity to not only succeed, but to excel in personal relationships as well as in business settings.

The personality trait of being compassionate is not one of weakness. It is one of personal strength. Maintaining a balance between compassion and having strong boundaries is a winning combination.

Diamond Life Coach Challenge

Are you called to help others? Do you have a desire to help others to experience transformation in their lives?

Join me starting July 29th for the FREE Diamond Life Coach Challenge. This is 5 Days of Life Coach Training to teach you about the coaching profession and how to use your spiritual gifts, talents, skills and knowledge to help bring transformation into the lives of others as a Life Coach.

The LIVE training will happen at 8AM CST and 8PM CST (encore presentation) each day, July 29th thru August 2nd.

For more information and to Register go here https://gingerlondon.ck.page/diamondlifecoachchallenge

Day 1 – The Whole-Mind, Body and Spirit Life Coach
You will learn how transformation happens in the lives of people and how to self-coach your own personal transformation before coaching others in their transformation. You will learn The 3 essential components of every successful coaching business. Why (and how) to prepare for success—skip this step, and you’ll be out of business before you even begin.

Day 2 – The Coaching Basics and Business
You will learn the basics of the life coaching profession and the 3 essential components of every successful coaching business. You will learn 2 transformational coaching models.

Day 3 – Let Your Gift Make Room For You
You will learn how to choose the right coaching model based on your gifts and talents. Also, you will learn how to how to position your own unique style of coaching with the right rates and fees.

Day 4 – Coaching Conversations
The coaching conversation should be a dynamic one. One that guides and moves the client to the desired goal. You will learn about the 5 Cs of the Diamond Coaching Conversation and how to effectively navigate a coaching call through each one.

Day 5 – Coaching For Results and Live Q&A
You will learn how to coach for results using your words and time wisely. You will be able to ask your coaching questions.

For more information and to Register go here https://gingerlondon.ck.page/diamondlifecoachchallenge

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Life Coach Certification Training for $25

March 24, 2020 Leave a comment

As you know this is a trying time for cities, state, and nation. As we go through the Corona Virus pandemic and while most of us are on a “stay at home order” I have decided to do something that would be a true blessing to those who are at home and would like to receive training to help others.

Do you aspire to become a life coach? Have you thought about helping people by coaching on the side? Do you coach employees on your job and would like to sharpen your coaching skills?

This is the perfect time to make good use of your stay at home time. I encourage you to maximize your time, as much as possible, to empower yourself, acquire more knowledge, improve your skills, or work on the business you have always wanted to start, especially if you are off from your job.

I am offering coach certification training during this of COVID-19 with a large scholarship to those who may be at home or working less hours. The Diamond Coaching Academy’s Coach Certification Intensive is being offered for ONLY $25 (regular $1,495) after a $1,470 scholarship is applied.

The intensive training is being held for 5 Days starting March 25-30, 2020. It will be virtual training held in a Private Facebook Group and on other platforms to showcase the coaching tools available to you.

For more information and to register please go here http://gingerlondon.com/DiamondCoachCertification5DIntensiveCOVIDREG.html

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Patience Day 9 – Get In The Habit Of Realizing When Patience Is In Order (part 2)

August 28, 2018 Leave a comment

Patience Challenge Banner

Yesterday I talked about the times when the virtue of patience is definitely more in need than others. The first two areas were: when you really want something and when someone is getting on your last nerve. Here are the remaining two areas.

When You’re Feeling Stressed

With stress come a lot of strong emotions. Emotional responses are often impulses. They certainly don’t rely on patience. Stressful times call for extra patience in order to be sure you handle the situation in a manner that you won’t later regret. Stress is probably one of the best signals that patience is in order.

Psalm 118:5-6 (NKJV)- I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?  

When You’re Feeling Pressured

Nothing’s worse than having your boss breathing down your neck or when your own high standards are causing you to feel under the gun. When you’re feeling pressured to get something done or to meet a certain goal, you naturally want to hurry things along. This can be a mistake. Being patient and thinking things through can be your best defense against making needless mistakes that will only set you further back. It may seem counterintuitive, but taking time to strategize is your best bet when you’re under pressure.

These are some examples of when patience may be in order. Take note of any others you think of. This information can help you to make proactive decisions in the future and to employ patience when it’s most needed.

Assignment Day 9 – Read the Scripture Passage and Meditate On It

James 1:-2-4 The Message Bible (MSG) – Faith Under Pressure

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patience Day 8 -Get In The Habit Of Realizing When Patience Is In Order (Part 1)

August 27, 2018 Leave a comment

Patience Challenge Banner

There are some times when the virtue of patience is definitely more in need than others. It’s important to recognize when being patient is crucial to attaining a positive outcome to a particular situation. It can be hard to see the necessity during stressful or highly emotional situations, so let’s take a look at some examples ahead of time so you can recognize them when they occur. Understanding these four signs will help you to get in the habit of realizing when patience is in order. Let’s start with two of them today.

1. When You Really Want Something

You know that feeling you get when you want something so bad you can practically taste it? Well, that sensation is a clear sign that you should put on the brakes and pull out all the patience you can muster. Remember, you don’t want to wait so long that you miss out on an opportunity. Taking some time to be patient and evaluate a situation, however, can help you to more strategically get what you want.

Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  

2. When Someone Is Getting on Your Last Nerve

When someone you care about or even a stranger is pushing every button you have, you should probably realize that you need some patience. You’re feeling triggered by their actions, and there’s likely an underlying reason why your emotions are running high. Take a moment to think about it and decide how to proceed in a way that will show sensitivity for the other person, while also meeting your own needs.

“You don’t know the depth of your character until you have been brought under some pressure.” ~ Ginger London

Assignment Day 8

Selah!   Think on these things.

background calm clouds daylight

Take a moment to calm your spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patience Challenge Day 5 -Quick Patience Tip – Count To Ten

August 24, 2018 Leave a comment

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In yesterday’s post, I gave you some ways to practice patience. However, there’s one I left out. The reason I did is because it deserves its very own post. That’s how important and useful I think this tip is. And it’s probably one you’ve known about since you were a child. That’s right, counting to ten. This tried and true strategy works. Let’s take a closer look at this quick patience tip and count to ten.

Why It Works

Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, a hundred.” This is still very sage advice today. The trick to this simple strategy lies in two components. These are time and distraction. It’s quite perfect, actually, because it buys you some time to disengage from whatever is frustrating you. You can’t possible react impulsively or aggressively if you’re busy counting. It similarly distracts you because you won’t be thinking about your current problem. Counting forces you to stop obsessing for just a bit in order to gain your bearings. Just this short break can be enough to really put things in perspective.

When to Do It

The great thing about this technique is that it’s so easy. It’s also quick and requires no specific tools. In fact, no one even has to know that you’re doing it. Any time you’re feeling overwhelmed, agitated, annoyed or frustrated, you can employ this strategy. It can be used in the moment by simply taking a pause in the conversation. It will look as if you’re just thinking of what to say next. You can also count to ten before a big event you’re anticipating in order to feel more relaxed. It’s quite versatile.

Tips That Might Help

Using this technique in combination with other strategies tends to be most helpful. For example, taking deep and controlled breaths when counting to yourself can help you to relax and to become more mindful. It’s quite grounding to engage in breathing exercises. Also, taking note of the feelings within your body at the current moment is a way to bring you back to the here and now, as well as to release the tension you’re feeling. These little extras will ensure you’re cooled off and thinking more clearly at the end of your ten count.

You might not have realized just how powerful this little exercise can be. I hope you now remember to count to ten during impatient times. I assure you it is likely to bring you positive results.

Assignment Day 5:

Try counting to 10 over the next two days 3 times a day. Write in your journal how you felt physically, spiritually, and mentally when counting and afterwards.

 

 

 

 

Patience Challenge Day 4 – Patience Is A Skill – Practice Helps

August 22, 2018 Leave a comment

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Patience doesn’t come easily to all of us. It’s a skill that has to be practiced in order to be fully developed. Rather than feel frustrated with yourself for your lack of this precious trait, I’d like to show you just how you can work to gain competence and start to become a more patient person. Don’t worry. You can learn to improve upon this skillset. It just takes practice.

Why You Need to Practice Patience

Patience can hurt you in a great many ways, even in areas you may never have suspected. If you’re regularly an impatient person, chances are good that others have noticed. When you develop a reputation for being short-tempered or unsympathetic, people will begin to react accordingly. You could miss out on career opportunities due to your reputation, and your personal relationships could be damaged.

Signs and Causes of Impatience

Pay attention to your body and its reactions when you find yourself feeling impatient. There are probably some common signs you exhibit during such times. Once you recognize them, you can take proactive steps to address your emotional state. Perhaps you find your fists clenching or your muscles becoming tense. Many people first notice they are becoming agitated when their breathing changes. It may become shallow and rapid. Maybe your feet start to become restless or particular emotions are running high. Take note of your particular physical cues to help identify when you are feeing less than patient. Once identified, you can work harder to overcome these specific issues.

Ways to Practice Patience

If you feel tension in your body, practice relaxing your muscles in order to release that pent-up energy. You can start from the top of your body and slowly relax each muscle group. This focus will give you time to calm down and to then deal with the cause of your impatience. Also, some positive self-talk can help. Remind yourself that you are in charge of your feelings; they don’t control you. This type of encouraging yourself can change your mood dramatically. Another strategy is to move your attention from yourself and how you’re feeling onto others. If you’re impatient with someone else, try to imagine what is causing them to act in the manner they are. A little empathy goes a long way.

If you’re not a naturally patient person, it’s okay. It truly is. You can practice patience on a regular basis in order to become better at showing it. You’ll soon see it really is possible to be more patient with yourself and with those around you.

Assignment Day 4:  Write down in your journal the things that cause you to become impatient. Then look over your list once it begins to accumulate so that you can search for common patterns.

 

 

 

Patience Challenge Day 2 – What Exactly Is Patience?

August 21, 2018 Leave a comment

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“Patience is a virtue!” But what exactly is patience? It’s important to have at least a basic understanding of the concept and the areas of life that are affected by it if you are to cultivate more of this virtue in your life. That’s what today’s post is all about. We’ll look at brief definitions of what it means to be patient spiritually and naturally, along with an overview of the ways patience touches your life and why it’s important.

About Patience

Here are a few of the ways Merriam-Webster defines patient. Patient is, “bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint.” “Not hasty or impetuous,” and “steadfast, despite opposition, difficulty or adversity,” are also definitions found within this dictionary. While the concept can be used in different ways, it generally seems to refer to the ability to tolerate discomfort.

This tolerance can be in terms of waiting for something we greatly desire, managing negative feelings during difficult times or maintaining composure when feeling rattled by the behavior of another. One thing to note is that, despite the dictionary definition, how each of us defines patience is likely to be different, even across various stages of our lives.

Biblically, patience comes from a Greek word which is derived from two words. Hupo which means “under” and Meno which means to abide. Simply said, “If you rest or remain in God, no matter what things or circumstances you are brought under you will endure” (Ginger London). God uses patience to as one of the processes to make this happen in your life.

The Impact of Patience Throughout Life

Because patience involves tolerating discomfort across settings, it makes sense that the concept would have unique significance to individuals at various times in their lives. The ability to be patient also affects different parts of your life, no matter what stage you may currently be in.

Being able to handle frustration in whatever form it presents itself is beneficial to your mental health. The ability to be patient during particularly stressful or hectic life stages can save you a great deal of unhappiness and strife. It can improve relationships when you are better able to manage your emotions with regard to the behavior of others. Patience is necessary on the job, during life transitions such as becoming a parent or moving away and as you reach old age when you find yourself unable to complete tasks with your former ease.

Benefits of Being Patient

Beyond aiding one’s mental state, there are lots of benefits to being patient. With patience, you’re better able to achieve the goals you set for yourself. Because you don’t have the need for immediate gratification, you can weather the struggles in order to wait for the reward of achieving your desired result. You’ll form stronger relationships when you’re a patient person because you are able to be tolerant of behaviors that frustrate you. This tolerance, combined with communication, allows relationships to withstand adversity and continue to grow. Learning to be more patient may even be good for your physical health because it helps to lower stress, which is associated with problems like headaches, digestive issues and ulcers.

Patience is different things to different people. It manifests itself and is needed more at various times in your life and across a number of settings. Above all else, it can benefit you in countless ways to learn to cultivate patience, and that’s just what we’ll do throughout this journey.

Day 2 Assignment:

Write down in a journal five areas in your life you need to practice and develop more  patience. (for example, relationships, work)

 

 

 

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