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7 Ways to Turn Worry into Excitement

October 28, 2020 2 comments
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Everybody worries sometimes. Right now, you’ve probably even got a few worries on your mind. You might be thinking about a relationship or a situation at work, causing you trouble. Maybe you’re worried about your health or whether or not you’re going to have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month. Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

1. Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come.  Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

2. Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy on worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

3. Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

4. Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

5. Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worry at bay entirely.

6. Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

7. Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a whole lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

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Train Yourself to be More Compassionate Part 2

October 25, 2020 4 comments

In the previous post I talked to you about being more self-compassionate to lighten your load and make your day brighter. In this post I will talk to you about being compassionate to others and compassion as a habit. Take on these practices and before you know it, compassion will become a natural part of your life.

Compassion to Others

  • Take time to notice, and even journal, throughout the day each time someone is compassionate to you. Take notes and learn how you can apply those same principles to other people.
  • Join an accountability group to create the new habit of being compassionate to self and others
  • Take time throughout your busy day and take a pause – ask yourself, where and how can I show compassion in this situation.
  • Instead of reacting to someone else’s negative mood, take a moment to ask them if they are okay. Chances are their negative mindset is really a cry for help, for someone to listen or for someone to simply ask!
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Compassion as a Habit

Being aware of where, how, and when you can apply compassion to both self and others is the perfect way to now create compassion as a habit.

  • Practice self-compassion
  • Ask where, how, and when you can offer compassion to others
  • Notice compassion
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Train Yourself to be More Self-Compassionate

October 22, 2020 5 comments

Have you ever met someone with so much compassion and wondered how you could be more like that? If so, you are not alone. Some people are born with the capacity of being compassionate not only to humans, but to pets, wildlife, and even nature. While compassion is a trait that is both biological and learned from our environment in childhood, there are ways to train yourself to be more compassionate if you wish.

Compassion is a Practice

If being compassionate is a way of being which is unfamiliar to you, it will take some practice. Just as any other new habit you wish to form, it will begin as unfamiliar until you make it more familiar. The brain is a creature of habit and gravitates to what is familiar – whether that is a positive trait or a negative habit.

Training your brain to be more compassionate is a practice like any new habit you wish to create. Compassion begins with self-compassion. Set an intention to be more self-compassionate and you will be amazed at how much your everyday, ordinary, life improves. Taking on self-compassion lightens the load, makes each day a little brighter, and softens the ups and downs of life.

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Here are some ways to practice self-compassion:

  • Talk back to that negative voice in your head; when you have a thought, which is negative about yourself, challenge it.
  • Counteract every negative thought with a positive one. For example, if you find yourself being hard on yourself, remind yourself how you have been through difficulties before and have come out simply fine.
  • Compliment yourself on a job well done and let go of guilt for feeling proud and accomplished.
  • Give yourself a break every now and again; you do not always have to aim for perfection. Doing your best is what counts.
  • Treat yourself to something nice; do something nice for yourself.
  • Speak to yourself and treat yourself like you would your best friend

Take the time to practice self-compassion. Once your cup is overflowing, you now have so much more to give. Self-compassion is not selfish, it is necessary so you can give back to others.

Three Powerful Habits of Highly Compassionate People

October 17, 2020 2 comments

What does success have to do with being a compassionate person? The answer is a lot. When you think of someone who is compassionate, do you associate it with someone who has a martyr/victim personality? Most associate compassionate people as soft or weak.

However, compassionate people have an amazing relationship quality – they know how to use compassion as a strength and not a weakness. Here are a few habits of highly compassionate people.

They do not Take Things Personally

People who emulate compassion both to themselves and for others, have learned the art of not taking things personally. They know when a mistake happens, that is simply a fact – a mistake happened. They do not focus on how much of a failure they are, how stupid they feel. They simply focus on the problem and do not internalize it as being about themselves. This allows them to take the next step.

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The Move Forward Quickly and Rebound

Since compassionate people practice self-compassion as well as compassion for others, they can move forward quickly. They do not make the problem, mistake, or situation about them.

There is less ruminating, worrying, and talking about problems. There is more of a focus on moving forward and coming up with creative solutions.

They Come up with Solutions to Problems

Rather than ruminating, compassionate people come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. Compassionate people can feel into what it is like for someone else to experience pain, almost as if they were the ones experiencing it. This offers them an amazing vantage point to problem solving.

A compassionate person can see and feel into others pain points. This offers them an advantage in helping others solve those problems. This one quality has many benefits:

  • In relationships, compassionate people can empathize with others and are better able to problem solve.
  • In business, compassionate people can feel their client’s pain points, communicate with empathy, and help them find creative solutions.
  • Socially, compassionate people invite others to be vulnerable due to their trustworthy and empathic qualities.
  • Compassionate people have a unique skill in being able to listen effectively to what people are saying and even what they are holding back on, as well.

Compassionate people have an uncanny sense about other people. This enables them to feel, see, and hear what others are experiencing. Compassion is an attractive quality. Compassionate people can draw near to them people who need their gifts, skills, and talents. This gives them an opportunity to not only succeed, but to excel in personal relationships as well as in business settings.

The personality trait of being compassionate is not one of weakness. It is one of personal strength. Maintaining a balance between compassion and having strong boundaries is a winning combination.

How Being More Compassionate Changes Your Life

October 15, 2020 2 comments
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Self-Compassion allows you the opportunity to take care of your own needs in being kind and gentle to yourself when you fall short. As humans, we all fall short; sometimes we do not reach our goal, sometimes the actions of others impact us negatively. We make mistakes, forget things, lose our cool, overreact. We are human. Understanding the basic fact, we are human allows us to be kind and compassionate and ask ourselves what we learned from experience.

Being compassionate to ourselves is a better use of energy. Imagine the time and trouble it takes to feed a negative mindset in reaction to a mistake. We can, instead, take time to self-soothe. Self-soothing is shown to have many benefits. We can move forward more quickly rather than ruminating on our mistakes. We can learn and grow and keep moving forward – the real definition of life.

More importantly, when we show ourselves compassion, we train others to do the same. If we beat ourselves up, we are basically giving others permission to do the same. When we show ourselves compassion, we model how we expect others to treat us, as well.

The Impact of Compassion on Your Relationships

While we are all interested in changing and improving our lives for the better, what about the impact compassion has on our relationships? Navigating through life means taking responsibility for our actions; however, we are also navigating many relationships within families, work, and socially.

Showing compassion offers us the opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life. People need to know we understand and that we are there for them. Loving and supporting others is the catalyst for helping them through the rough patches of life. What is better than being a contributing factor to changing the direction of someone else’s life? Now that is powerful!

When we offer compassion to others, we feel good about ourselves and make a difference to them. It is a win/win situation.

Why Compassion is So Important

October 14, 2020 5 comments

We live in such a busy world. Everywhere you go you hear about either being more, doing more, or buying more. With everyone in the family either going to school or working, “busy” is the new normal. Self-care falls by the wayside, spending time with others is minimal at best, and worst of all, compassion becomes a luxury not a necessity.

The Benefits of Compassion

Compassion boosts your health and well-being. There are many benefits to taking on being compassionate both for yourself and, equally as important, for others:

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For Yourself

  • You feel good about yourself.
  • You exude more confidence.
  • You have a softer, gentler, kinder demeanor.
  • You attract more positive people, situations, and experiences in your life.

Your health improvement brings more energy, better sleep, and life experiences

For Others

  • You are a contribution to others when you show compassion.
  • You let them know they are not alone.
  • Other people reap the rewards of feeling related, understood, and full of hope.
  • Others who are equally kind and compassionate will draw near to you.
  • You become a role model for others on how to treat themselves.
  • You become a role model for others on how to improve their relationships.
  • You create a ripple of compassion, that positively affects many people.
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Being Compassionate to yourself as a new way of being brings improvement to many areas of your life. When you are compassionate to yourself, you reap the benefits and the rewards.

In Loving Memory of Henry London, Jr.

January 10, 2019 Leave a comment

henry at family gathering

Henry London, Jr. at Family Gathering

On Monday, January 7, 2019 my family lost one of our beloved family members – Henry London, Jr. He is very dear to our hearts. You see, my cousin was “wrongfully shot” by police officers in 1972. A place was being robbed, he picked up the phone to call the police to report it, the police came to the scene and shot the wrong person.

From that shooting, Henry was paralyzed from the waist down – to never walk again. After the shooting, he lived a productive and love-filled life. He had some medical challenges throughout the years, but he would always come out successfully. He was one of the first people in Baton Rouge, La to have van designed for paralyzed drivers. He was a father and grandfather. He touched so many different lives  (family and a host of friends) with his encouragement, correction, laughter and love. At times, I would spend hours talking with him when I went over to visit.

On Sunday, January 6, 2019 he took sick at home and was rushed to the hospital. It was discovered that his body had an infection. He fought a good fight. When we visited him Monday in the hospital he wasn’t awake, but when his mother began talking to him, he responded with body movements, as best he could. He would do the same type of response when his close friends came and would talk to him. Amazing!!!

Henry lived an additional “47 Years” after the police shooting that left him paralyzed.

His Celebration of Life Ceremony will be Saturday, January 12, 2019 at 10am at the Mt. Pilgrim Baptist Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

We need your prayers as we welcome traveling family members and as we greet community members and friends who are calling and stopping by offering their condolences.

Thank you your prayers.

Minister Ginger London

henry at game   lil henry

 

 

 

Patience Day 30 -Reflect On How Far You’ve Come And Where To Go From Here

September 18, 2018 1 comment

close up photography of bulb on water

Reflect Back Over The Last 30 Days

Let’s take a quick walk down memory lane and browse through all the different topics we covered over the past 29 days. Here’s a quick rundown:

1. Welcome And How Patient Are You?
2. What Exactly Is Patience?
3. The Importance Of Becoming A More Patient Person
4. Patience Is A Skill – Practice Helps
5. Quick Patience Tip – Count To Ten
6. Patience Is A Virtue! Or Is It?
7. 5 Signs That You’re An Impatient Person
8. Get In The Habit Of Realizing When Patience Is In Order (Part 1)
9. Get In The Habit Of Realizing When Patience Is In Order (Part 2)
10. Reflect On When You’ve Been Too Impatient
11. Times To Be Patient vs. Times To Act
12. Using Visualization Exercises To Help With Patience
13. 3 Things You Must Do After An Impatient Outburst
14. The Physical Side Of Impatience
15. The Physical Side Of Impatience
16. Create Awareness About Losing Your Patience
17. Pinpoint What’s Causing You To Lose Your Cool
18. How To Avoid Emotional Explosion Infographic
19. Scriptures On Patience
20. Give Yourself A Time Out To Recoup Your Patience
21. Give Yourself A Time Out To Recoup Your Patience
22. Meditate Your Way To Patience
23. Why Do You Feel Rushed?
24. Build Cushions Into Your Daily Schedule To Make Time For Patience
25. Selah! – Rest Day
26. How Gratitude & Thankfulness Can Make You More Patient
27. Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
28. It’s Ok To Act Patient Until You Develop It
29. Patience Is A Choice
30. Reflect On How Far You’ve Come And Where To Go From Here

We’ve reached the end of our journey. I can’t believe it! I hope this time together has been as enjoyable for you as it’s been for me. More than that, it’s my hope that you now feel you possess the information and tools you need to become a more patient person. We’ve covered a lot over the past month.

We started off our journey by defining patience and talking about why it’s important. Beginning with an understanding of the concept and a strong framework is necessary to continue learning. We then discovered some tangible tools and techniques to put in place in order to begin to demonstrate more patience and to calm down when you’re feeling frustrated.

It was early in our time together that I first introduced the idea that patience is a skill that can be learned. Because it’s so essential to the process, we re-visited the idea toward the end of our 30 days. It’s empowering to know that patience can be learned, practiced and improved upon. You aren’t a bad person or less worthy simply because patience doesn’t come easily to you.

In addition, we learned about some of the things that cause us to feel less patient. Personal triggers are a big problem for some of us. Knowing what triggers you is essential to overcoming it when you feel it happen. Feeling less rushed and more gratitude are also practices that can reduce your tendency to feel impatient.

Finally, we looked at your motivations to want to become more patient. These are all very personal to you. Knowing and acknowledging them can push you to move forward on your journey of learning ways to become more patient. Recognize that this won’t happen overnight. Bring out your list of reasons when you feel like giving up.

Assignment Day 30:

Take a few minutes today to reflect on not only how far you’ve come, but more importantly how this simple 30 day challenge has influenced you and changed you for the better.

What has had the biggest impact on you?

What tips and ideas have you found the most helpful? Those are the posts that you want to go back to again and again.

What positive experiences have you had as a result of the information you’ve gained?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patience Day 28 -It’s Ok To Act Patience Until You Develop It

September 16, 2018 Leave a comment

person playing piano

It’s Okay To Practice Patience Until You Get It!

Surely, you’ve heard the phrase, “fake it ’til you make it.” I would rather say, “act it ‘til you develop it.” It refers to professing to have a quality you wish you possessed and believing that you’ll eventually get to a place in which you genuinely have that trait. Usually, some work is required behind the scenes in order to get to that place, as merely professing it alone won’t get the job done. However, it is possible to put on the appearance of a patient person until you start to gain genuine patience. This mind strategy can be quite helpful in reaching your ultimate goal. I’ll show you how it works.

Patience Can Be Learned

First of all, it’s important to remember that patience can be learned. It isn’t necessarily something that you’re born with. Some people appear to be, and that’s great for them. However, if you weren’t, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person nor does it mean you won’t ever become more patient. Patience is, in fact, a skill. Like any other, it requires practice to improve. Knowing this puts the keys in your hand. You have the power and control to take action that will result in you becoming more patient.

Change Your Attitude

A change of attitude is the beginning of seeing actual improvement. It’s the first step to seeing patience come more naturally to you. Part of this change is the realization that patience isn’t a stagnant, inherent quality. No longer should you think you were just born without much patience and that there’s nothing you can do to fix that. You’re not broken. You simply lack something you’d like more of. Usually when you want something in your life, you know you have to work and take strategic effort to get it. Same is true with patience.

Change Your Thoughts

Once you’ve refined your attitude, you can begin to reframe your thoughts. This process involves changing nagging, hostile thoughts into more reasonable ones. It’s part of the “fake it ’til you make it” bit. For example, if you’re in line and find yourself really annoyed by the customer who’s taking forever at the register, you may be likely to tell yourself how rude that guy is to be holding everyone up or that the cashier must not be very good at her job if she can’t move things a long a little faster. Chances are, neither of these things is true.

Instead, tell yourself a story that will help to increase your patience or one that will at least help the situation to become more tolerable. Maybe it would help to think that the customer is using all of those coupons to help feed his larger family and that he’s really smart to take the time to do that. Such a narrative with a positive spin can go far toward helping you to feel better.

Once you begin this practice, you’ll find it starts to become more natural. Soon you may not have to fake it at all.

 

 

 

Patience Day 26 -How Gratitude & Thankfulness Can Make You More Patient

September 14, 2018 Leave a comment

affection appreciation decoration design

Gratitude implies a deep appreciation for something

You probably consider gratitude to be a positive personality trait. After all, someone who is thankful for what they have or what they are given seems to be much more pleasant than someone who is entitled or who doesn’t appreciate anything. However, being grateful has more benefits than simply making you a pleasant person to be around. In fact, gratitude and thankfulness can make you more patient. Join me as I explain more.

About Gratitude

Gratitude is a human emotion that is much like appreciation or thankfulness. Beyond its everyday use, the concept has begun to receive attention within the field of positive psychology. Gratitude has been linked to a number of positive benefits. In this context, it goes beyond just saying “thank you.” Gratitude implies a deep appreciation for something. There’s a saying that goes, “Gratitude is an attitude.” I like this one because it implies that being grateful is something that can be incorporated into your personality with intention. When you are purposefully grateful, wonderful things can happen.

Gratitude and Patience

Gratitude has a strong connection to patience because it’s been shown to improve self-control. When you’re feeling grateful, you’re more apt to be content in the moment, which gives you the ability to make more grounded decisions and to not look longingly to the next thing on your life. Gratitude has also been shown to reduce levels of depression, anxiety and stress. We’ve already talked about how being less stressed allows you to be more patient. Finally, gratitude also provides you with a deeper appreciation for what you have. When you apply this to your relationships, you’ll find yourself becoming far less impatient with the important people in your life.

How to Be More Grateful

Gratitude can be considered an emotion, a state of being or a character trait. I also think of it as a practice, something that gets better and comes easier with time. There are lots of ways you can practice gratitude and incorporate it into your life. Try keeping a gratitude journal. Writing down three to five things each day that you’re grateful for will change your outlook. You could also volunteer or become active in a cause. Helping others and working for something bigger than yourself is a great way to see the bigger picture and to gain perspective on what’s really important to you.

Another useful strategy is to turn your complaints into positives. Next time you’re feeling upset about something, try to find the silver lining. Listing just one thing can really turn things around for you.

There are many of other ways to practice gratitude. An internet search will give you several. Give these suggestions a try and take note of how you feel. You’re likely to find your patience increasing. Suddenly, minor annoyances will seem far less significant.

Assignment Day 26

Start a gratitude journal. For the next two weeks each day write down three to five things that you are grateful for. If you need to start slow, write down at least one thing.

 

 

 

 

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